Sunday, March 25, 2018

In Defense of Seed of Chucky


       
For me, the Child’s Play series is one of the most consistently enjoyable and inventive horror properties in Hollywood. (I'm SO EXCITED about the upcoming TV show. Anyway.) Not only does the series maintain a surprising level of consistence, but it also seems to reinvent itself in subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways each movie.

That said, most people consider 2004’s Seed of Chucky as the worst in the franchise. That is very, very wrong.

Over on Slickster, I’ve penned a passionate (some would say TOO passionate) defense of this underrated movie. Be warned, though: There will be a reference to puppet masturbation.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!


Happy holiday, everybody! I hope at least some of you have dug out your old VHS copy of Leprechaun and enjoyed a blast of gory, 90s nostalgia!

(I rewatched Leprechaun 3 and 4, which was a pretty solid double feature.)

I'd also like to take this opportunity to announce that I'll be a regular contributor to Film Table, a pretty awesome pop culture site that somehow allows me to be as random as possible with my movie reviews.

For my first feature, not surprisingly, I wrote an article about my favorite franchise. Check it out. 


Friday, March 16, 2018

Dummies and Mask-Wearing Crazy People

I have a couple new articles up this week. One is a friendly reevaluation of 2002's Halloween: Resurrection, which many view as a cinematic travesty. (I kind of like it.)

Another is a fun look at my students' brand new school play, a recreation of everyone's favorite film, Son of the Mask. The adaptation process has been... difficult.

And finally, I have a comedic rant about ventriloquist dummies. It's pretty epic.

Anyway, it's nice to stay productive.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

My New Werewolf Story!

I have a brand new werewolf horror story from Hagstone Publishing!


I'm stoked. They're a very cool publisher, and I think they did a great job with one of my creepier offerings.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Happily Destroyed: My Sci Fi Fairy Tale YA Mash-up


Welcome to THE HAPPILY, a paradise dimension where everyone is royalty… where every meal is a feast… where your loyal subjects burst into song at pre-scheduled intervals… where you can never, ever return.

Rose and her sisters live a life straight out of a fairy tale. Well, the crappy first-half of a fairy tale, anyway. They work and sweat and go about their days, always hoping that something terrible will happen. Maybe a troll will steal them away. Maybe a sorcerer will turn them to stone. Heck, maybe a beast will whisk them off to his dark, nasty castle. Wouldn’t that be great?

You see, if something bad happens, that means that someone will rescue them. And if someone rescues them, that means they just bought a one-way ticket to THE HAPPILY. Bing bang boom. Paradise.

Slowly, the sisters get into trouble. Slowly, they get rescued. Slowly, they achieve their happily ever after. That just leaves one sister: Rose. She’s too spunky and independent. She’ll never get rescued, which means she’ll never transition into THE HAPPILY. She’s stuck in the real world, with all the witches and ogres and dragons.

But what if she sneaks into THE HAPPILY? And what if she gets caught? Or worse, what if THE HAPPILY isn’t as great as everyone says? Well, there’s only one way to find out

Friday, March 9, 2018

Let's Get Political, Political


scandal, satire, trump, leftist
   
As a nation, we can all agree that HillaryClinton is the source of all our current problems. School shootings, Russian collusion, spousal abuse in the White House, a 2 trillion dollar deficit, the continuing threat of nuclear war… It can all be traced back to Hillary Clinton, a woman who is somehow the most powerful and corrupt person in the world, even though she didn’t win the election.
    

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Tales from the Crypt: My Thoughts


horror, anthology, evan purcell
   
I love Tales from the Crypt more than pretty much any other show from my childhood (give or take a Buffy). This horror anthology series is insanely rewatchable, and even the bad episodes at least have a bit of gore or nudity (or both, simultaneously) to keep you coming back for more. Even the shitty puns circle back around from groan-worthy to funny just through repetition.
     
For a while there, it looked like M. Night Shyamalan was going to remake the series for a new generation. I was all on-board. Both Tales and Shyamalan love their twist endings. They’re also both wildly inconsistent, which I consider a good thing. I love when people (and shows) aren’t afraid to swing for the fences every time, even when they fail just as much as they succeed.
    
Unfortunately, it looks like the reboot isn’t going to happen. I’ve written a post-mortem for the would-be series over on Slickster. Check it out.