Estelle Harrow Gets Lucky

I introduce to you... Hell Hath No Fury, a brand-new anthology from the premier publisher of pulp, Pro-Se Productions.

Estelle Harrow uses her connections to the ghost realm to solve murders, but her adventures never go as planned. This time, she's up against the Irish mafia, a powerful organization that may or may not be smuggling leprechaun blood for their own nefarious purposes. As Estelle comes face-to-face with dangers that she couldn't imagine, will she be able to survive fistfights, drunken gambling rings, and a six-year-old ghost who's finally gotten fed up with her pesky seances?

I am so excited to have my story kick off this new anthology. It's honestly really wild, and I can't wait to hear what you think!

Film Table and My New Leprechaun Article

If you’ve met me in real life—even for an hour—you probably know that I love the Leprechaun movies more than virtually anything else in my life. More than chocolate. More than friends and family. Those six movies (minus the reboot) have given me literal months of enjoyment. No exaggeration.

   

   
Which is why I decided that my inaugural article for FilmTable, the exciting new pop culture site, would be all about Leprechaun. What better way to introduce myself to its readers than by waxing rhapsodic about that pogo stick murder scene from the first movie?
 
Also, in case you haven’t heard, Syfy Channel is taking a break from Sharknadoes to re-reboot the franchise with a new actor. (I have very mixed feelings, of course.)
 
That said, head on over to Film Table for some quality movie criticism. They sometimes cover movies other than Leprechaun. Sometimes.
  

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Happy holiday, everybody! I hope at least some of you have dug out your old VHS copy of Leprechaun and enjoyed a blast of gory, 90s nostalgia!

(I rewatched Leprechaun 3 and 4, which was a pretty solid double feature.)

I'd also like to take this opportunity to announce that I'll be a regular contributor to Film Table, a pretty awesome pop culture site that somehow allows me to be as random as possible with my movie reviews.

For my first feature, not surprisingly, I wrote an article about my favorite franchise. Check it out. 

Happy Halloween!

A quick note on my Halloween movie marathon:

This year, I invited a few friends over to bask in the neon orange glow of a communal Halloween fright fest. We gathered in my tiny living room in my tiny house on this tiny island, switched on my laptop computer, and started watching Hocus Pocus.

As someone who has lived in foreign countries for the last five years, someone who has no patience for things like “nostalgia” or “home sickness,” I definitely felt a twinge of both every time the Sanderson sisters were on screen. It was a wonderful way to start the marathon, and while I was definitely more involved in the emotional ups and downs of Max and his talking cat, I think my party guests were at least slightly amused by the whole thing. (Only one other person had actually seen this movie before. Charlatans.)

Our second film, Leprechaun 3 (the one in Las Vegas) was a much rowdier experience for all. Dirty limericks, sex-robots, and wild bursts of violence make this movie my hands-down favorite in the Leprechaun franchise, and I’m pleased to announce that my party guests seemed to like it, too. At least, that’s what they said.

The final movie in our trilogy was Teen Witch, which deflated the group’s enthusiasm just a tad. I mean, we all had fun (particularly during the musical numbers, or any scene with the little brother), but sleepiness was starting to seep into things, and we all had work or school in the morning.

That said, I don’t regret my choices in film. These three movies represent everything I want from a Halloween experience: violence, gore, hijinks, music, costumes, witchcraft, and a group of friends to share everything with.

Also sex-robots.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

In honor of everybody's fourth favorite holiday, I wanted to talk a little bit about everyone's seventh favorite horror movie franchise. That's right! Leprechaun! A name so scary that I constantly have to check the spelling every time I type it.

Now, Leprechaun lives in a very special place in my heart. This was the first horror movie I ever saw (I was seven, and my cool aunt was babysitting me). I loved the horror. I loved the humor. I loved seeing Jennifer Aniston embarrass herself. It was a blast from start to finish.

Because today is St. Patrick's Day, here's a very special look back at the Leprechaun franchise.
  

  
The first Leprechaun is very low budget. The whole thing takes place in a farmhouse in the one area of "North Dakota" that looks exactly like Southern California. It's probably most famous for having Jennifer Aniston in it, but Warwick Davis is really the star here. It's a neat little roller coaster of a movie, with one of the all time best moster-kill catchphrases of all time... AND there's murder-by-pogo-stick!
  

 
Leprechaun 2 takes our titular monster to Hollywood, where he uses a cappuccino machine to murder that guy from MadTV that reminded everybody of Will Ferrell. I think you know who I'm talking about. Whatever happened to that guy? He probably still works. Anyway, the movie is the most forgettable entry in the franchise, but it's fun. And there's a kiss scene with a giant fake tongue that is truly horrifying.
  

  
Leprechaun 3 (the one in Vegas) is pretty much the consensus pick for the best in the franchise. It's funny, there's some gnarly special effects (a magic trick gone wrong, an inexplicable robot lady, the umbrella scene...), and the script is chock-full of dirty limericks. It's my personal favorite.
  

       
Leprechaun 4: In Space is the wackiest of the bunch. It's almost as fun as part 3, but it also tries a little too hard. The movie starts with a really gross shout-out to the chest-burster scene from Alien, and it never lets up from there. There's a giant spider mutant, a space princess with magical healing powers, and some pretty great death scenes. No limericks, though.
    

    
People like the idea of Leprechaun: In the Hood more than the actual film. It's a great premise, and Ice-T is having a blast, but it's just not that fun. There are moments, though. Coolio has the most random cameo in the history of cinema, and the whole thing ends with a glorious rap song that Warwick Davis can barely get through.
   

Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood is cheaper, dumber, and a whole lot more fun than his first trip to the hood. This is the first time the franchise has repeated itself, though. I would've much preferred its original concept (Leprechaun Does Spring Break), but the execution isn't bad, and its climactic scenes are some of the best in the series. There's a lot of dumb drug humor, so that's always fun.

   
And now we come to the nadir of the series: the sullen, dull "re-imagining" known as Leprechaun Origins. Instead of a horror comedy starring a little person actor who is clearly having the time of his life, we get a straight-up horror survival story starring a WWE wrestler who has zero lines and about ten seconds of screen time in the whole movie. Wikipedia says that WWE is currently working on a sequel, which I will watch because I'm a movie masochist, but eek. This is bad.
   

   
Rather than ending on such a down note, I wanted to share a little factoid that I just found out. Apparently in Irish mythology, there are leprechauns and clurichauns. Clurichauns are basically the same thing as leprechauns, but they only come out at night, they're constantly drunk, and they enjoy riding sheep. If you treat them well, they'll protect your wine cellars.

God, I love the Irish.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody!