Rocky Fortune - My New Pulp Detective Story

Mermaids, Goats, and Frank Sinatra

Adventures Magazine Issue #17 is now available!

I am so excited about this book! AdventuresReads publishes quarterly anthologies of new and classic stories. My dad has been in a bunch of past issues, and for the first time, he and I are published in the same book! (Along with Charles freaking Dickens. Crazy!)

My story is called "Mermaid Show." It's a pulp mystery based on a radio drama from the 50s called Rocky Fortune (starring Frank Sinatra). Lately, I've been writing a lot of stuff with public domain characters, and it's been a blast every time.

Here's an excerpt if you wanna see the style:

***

He meets me at the entrance, where plastic mermaids smile down at us from pillars on either side. His handshake is wet and clammy, which seems appropriate.

“Glad to be here,” I tell him.

He takes me inside and gives me a quick tour of the place. “We run a tight ship around here,” he says. (He doesn’t mention the “sinking” part.) “And I expect only the best. At first, I wasn’t sure about hiring you on, considering your status.”

And what status is that?” I ask him.

“As a card-carrying member of the frequently unemployed.”

I don’t like the insinuation. I probably have more work experience than all his other employees combined.

“Correction,” I say. “I like to refer to myself as frequently employed.”

“Touche,” he says. “Well, welcome anyway.”

We pass through the front courtyard, where one lonely security guard is napping on a stool.

So far, the place doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence. I see broken turnstiles, cracks in the concrete, and a wooden cut-out of a cartoon tuna that would look a lot more inviting if it still had its head.

We reach the food stalls (not very appetizing) and the toilets (even less appetizing) before we get to the main attraction: a huge water tank where the mermaids do their show. Whatever money Gus saves on everything else goes straight into that tank. It’s filled with giant clams and pirate chests and other aquarium regulars. No mermaids, though. Not yet.

“Beautiful, yeah?” Gus says. “Just wait ’til you see it in use. My girls put on one hell of a show.”

***

Fun, right? I really tried to emulate the rhythm of the radio show (which is all on YouTube if you want to check it out).

Anyway, please spread the word on this anthology. It's a real labor of love for OffBeatReads, and I'm really happy with how it all came together.

Finished for Now!

It's been a crazy few weeks, but the Remember crew is finally done with the cabin! After several (pretend) deaths, lots of coffee, and the hard work of 30+ people, the main section of our film is over.

Now we're going to regroup next February (!) and finish off the forest-set scenes. (Plus a pivotal moment in a shed. Try to imagine what that could be.)

As we wait for our next round of spookiness, let's take a moment to sing the praises of one last cast member who never got the attention that he deserved:

Here he is trying to remember his lines before we got him in costume and makeup. Despite the long conversations that we shared, I never caught his name.

Anyway, kudos to that guy. And great job to everyone who worked their asses off to make some movie magic. It's been incredible.

First Day of Filming!

The dream has officially come true, people! Today is my first day on set of Remember, a horror movie I cowrote with the absolutely incredible Jeff Corpening. I've written all about it (and sent out a bunch of newsletters spotlighting different parts of the process).

And now we're here, in a spooky/gorgeous cabin up in the Smoky Mountains.

Fun fact, they're called the Smoky Mountains because the mist literally looks like smoke. I was today year's old when I learned that.

What do I expect? Well, I'm meeting a ton of people in person for the first time, all of whom know way more about filmmaking than me. It's going to be so much fun to hear their stories and watch them at work.

As you might've heard, this is our second attempt at filming this project. It's changed a whole bunch since 2022's COVID shenanigans. Leaner, meaner, and (dare I say?) a little scarier, too.

I'll keep you posted!

Chicken Soup for the Soul

One of My Many Embarrassing Stories from China

Everyone loves Chicken Soup for the Soul. It's the most comforting book series out there. (Plus, there's a podcast, and movies, and a bunch of other stuff. A whole mini-empire of heartwarming goodness.)

I've just been included in my fifth Chicken Soup book, a comedy-themed one called Laughter's Always the Best Medicine. Look for a bunch of smiling llamas on the cover.

My story is called "My First Party in China," and if you know me personally, you've probably heard me tell this story. If not, I won't spoil it. Just know that it's from my experiences teaching in rural China and it's very, very embarrassing.

But that's not the big reason I wanted to post this. (I mean, I'd love to help sell more copies of this thing, but I think Chicken Soup is doing just fine marketing-wise.)

Instead, I wanted to tell everyone out there that you (yes, you) really should submit a story to Chicken Soup. It's very easy, the editing process is super-pleasant, and you'll get a couple hundred bucks for your trouble. Plus, you'll be published in this awesome, best-selling series. Like I said, this is my fifth story and I plan to keep submitting. I love these books.

(And if you're curious about my past stories, the topics were: dogs, grandparents, kindness, and gratitude.)

If you go to their website, they always have five-ish topics that they're currently looking for. Usually some animal-related ones, a holiday-themed one, and more general ones like "miracles" and "forgiveness."

You pick a topic, write a true story of something that happened to you, and then submit directly to the website. Don't get fancy with the prose, because you want the story itself to be the focus. And you only have 1,200 words.

I've never met a single person in my life who hasn't had a least one experience that would make a good Chicken Soup story. That's what's so great about these anthologies. They're relatable. Just think of a story you like to tell at parties or a memory that still chokes you up and write it down.

Please do that. I'm serious. Even if you've never written anything before, even if the whole thing sounds intimidating... Just open Microsoft Word, turn on the dictation feature, and tell your story like you're telling it to a friend. You'll be surprised how little you have to edit (and how short 1,200 words actually is).

And one piece of advice before you do that: Try to focus on how you changed during the story. That's something I noticed with all of my published ones. (I submitted a lot more that were rejected.) The editors seem to like stories with some kind of personal growth. 

So if you have a funny story about your dog embarrassing you in front of your neighbors, for example, then add some context at the very beginning and end showing how this experience helped you be more confident around your neighbors. Something like that.

Anyway, Chicken Soup is great.

Woozy's Obituary

 If you're in the mood for something short and dumb: Woozy's Obituary

I've been publishing a lot on Medium lately. I have some full-length novels (released in chapters) as well as a ton of random stories. I wanted to highlight this one in particular because it made me laugh. If you're a Scooby Doo fan, I think you'll like it.