Concussion

I'm not sure if you're aware, but I'm totally a movie reviewer now. It's crazy. I had no idea this would be part of my career path. I mean, I love movies, and I love writing, and I love telling people how I feel about stuff. But the idea that I'd be a real film critic... it honestly never crossed my mind.

Well, here I am, and I just reviewed the new Will Smith movie Concussion. It's a real story about violent head trauma starring one of the most charismatic actors in the world and it's... not at all what I expected. Did I love it? Did I hate it? Did I want to ram my own head against the wall until the movie stopped?

You'll just have to read the review to find out...

The Hateful Eight

Have you seen the new Tarantino movie yet? Not sure if it's right for you? Well, my friends, check out my brand new review of Hateful Eight to help you make this important life decision...

Is the latest from cinema's craziest mash-up artist a little too talky? A little too violent? A little too both? Well, you'll have to check out my review to find out...

Oh Little Town of DEATHlehem...

Hey guys! It's still winter, so it's not too late to check out my latest Christmas-themed horror story in Deathlehem Revisited, a brand new anthology that is definitely going to deck your halls... and roast your chestnuts... and jingle your bells... aaaand that's all I got. It's scary. Trust me.

And money from this book is going straight to the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation! So I don't feel guilty giving anyone nightmares!

Movie Review

I'm a movie reviewer now! Check out my first (mainly positive) review for The Big Short. It's part of the movie section for Slickster Magazine, an awesome new website that has funny articles, insightful reviews, and beautiful women. Expect more to come!

The importance of flossing.

Halloween Night: Trick or Treat

Graveyards, spirits, witchcraft, black cats, candy, and haunted houses.

Strange things happen on Halloween. All Hallows Eve is the single night where the veil between the living and the dead is opened. And now spirits, monsters, and candy will collide!

 

Seventeen authors and illustrators set out on a horrific journey to set the record straight. What really happens on Halloween night? Trick or Treating is not all fun and games. There are more tricks than treats scattered through these pages. Sure, All Hallows eve can be a scream. But sometimes, it’s straight-up murder.

Halloween Night: Trick-or-Treat is a middle grade and young adult horror anthology that falls on Halloween night. And right now, it's only 99 cents! You can be terrified for less than a dollar!

Read if you dare! You're in for a scare!

James Bond Island

Thailand, 2014

Golden Girls... IN SPACE!

Golden Girls spoof. With aliens. Pet squids. Surprise explosions. Nuff said.

GOAT SELFIE IN THE RUSSIAN WILDERNESS

Life in Zanzibar

I am really enjoying the beach life.

My new album cover... If I ever do a CD of Irish folk songs.

Someone in the distance is doing a flip. I did not notice that at the time.

These Vampires Don`t Sparkle

 

Attention, vampire fans! Here’s a new anthology just for you. Beware, though. It’s a little intense…

Zanzibar!

Hello, everyone! It's been a long time since I updated this website, and I have some exciting news: I just moved to Zanzibar! I've been here three days now, and the place is absolutely amazing. I'll be sure to post more pictures once the wifi situation gets sorted.

In the meantime... ZANZIBAR!!!

The Ripple Effect: a new anthology

A butterfly flaps its wings in New York, and then there’s a storm in Florida. Or something like that.

The Butterfly Effect is one of those things that Ian Malcolm kept rambling about in the first Jurassic Park movie. It’s also, fun fact, the topic of this new anthology. My story, tucked away in the middle of this gruesome collection of tales, is a particular treat. I really like how this one turned out. I made pretty good use of a hospital vending machine, some lightning, and a whole bunch of murder. I hope that piques your interest.

Disclaimer: This one is not yet on Amazon, so you’ll have to order a copy at Kobo Books. It’s a little expensive, but they periodically have sales on the website. I’ll keep you posted.

Hanging on a rooftop in St. Pete

Superheroes! Monsters! Help!

It’s a bird!

It’s a plane!

It’s a… horrible space mutant oozing with acid spit and comet juices!

I am proud to announce that my short story Cold Fingers has been included in a brand new anthology that’s all about superheroes fighting monsters.

Yes, you read that correctly. Superheroes. And monsters.

Chocolate and peanut butter.

Harold and Kumar.

Two great tastes and all that. You can check it out on Amazon right now. My story takes place in Hawaii, so consider it a dry run for my upcoming paranormal romance novel that also takes place in the 50th state.

But that’s still a secret. Pretend I didn’t say anything…

And check out the anthology. It’s wall-to-wall action from some very talented writers.

FOUND FOOTAGE

 
Paranormal Activity.

The Blair Witch Project.

[Rec.]

What do these films have in common? I mean, aside from horrible sequels.

These are part of the new wave of found footage horror films. Lure some good-looking people into a dimly lit environment, give them discount camera equipment, and then sit back and watch the carnage.

In the last few years, cinemas have been flooded with these films (for better or worse), and it’s about time that bookstores join the party.

That’s right! I’m here to announce a new found footage anthology book. Each story within these blood-spattered pages uses the same found footage gimmick. Only this time, we’re using post-it notes, letters, emails, pamphlets, and anything in-between. It’s a really cool reading experience.

Scary, too.

RUSSIA! Look what you do to me!

(upside down house)

Midnight Echo

 
Shiny, red noses. Painted faces. Dead eyes. There’s something wrong with this clown, and no one will believe me! He wants our children! He wants them! And no one else can see him but me!

Please check out my new horror story in the brand new, comeback issue of Midnight Echo, Australia’s awesome horror magazine! I’ve heard some really exciting things about this collection, and I cannot wait for you guys to read it!

My story is about scary clowns, if that’s your kind of thing. But this magazine has a little something for everyone, so pick up a copy today. You don’t have to be an Australian (although I wish you were Australian. Seriously. Those guys are the best.)

Arachnophobia

 
They have eight legs; red, segmented eyes; frothy mandibles; and enough poison to take down an elephant. They are spiders, the deadliest on earth, and they’ve taken over a new horror anthology. 

This one isn’t on Amazon yet, so you’ll have to order your copy on Lulu.

If you don’t, they`re coming for you… crawling through the air conditioning vents, hiding in your carpet, quietly creeping up your leg…

God, I love spiders.

 

Flash Fiction Update

 

There’s something pure and squicky about horror flash fiction. You read one story in a couple minutes, and hopefully it creeps you out for the day. Tales from the Blue Gonk Café is a massive collection of these stories.

My addition is called Nana, and it’s about the loving bond between grandparents and grandchildren. It’s also terrifying. Enjoy!

Malice. Just Malice.

My horror short "Volcano" is a gnarly little number about a science project gone wrong. It's pretty dark.

Coming Back... for Some Brain-Dinner

They’re coming for you, Barbara! They’re coming for you…

Zombies are awesome. They’re walking, talking (er… grunting) little allegories for whatever political statement you want to make.

Oh my God! Look! The horrors of rampant consumerism! The Vietnam War! Modern politics! Zombies have been used to say a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff.

But this anthology is a little different. This is about coming back, whether you’re a zombie or a ghost or anything in between. It’s about the growing pains and adjustment period of rising from the dead. And I think that’s a really interesting way to go.

Check it out.

Big Buddha

A Monster of an Anthology!

What Has Two Heads, Ten Eyes, and Terrifying Table Manners?

This anthology!

It also has wild anti-heroes, neon green tentacles, housewives, microwaves, and lots of killing. Need I say more?

Okay, maybe a little more: Mutants! Other dimensions! Back-stabbings! Military-grade weapons! Pets! And one of my strangest stories yet!

Laughter in Sarnath

 Re-Animator.

Snow White.

The Necronomicon.

Sleeping Beauty.

What do these words have in common? Absolutely nothing… Until now.

Wanderer’s Haven has collected a bunch of Lovecraftian fairy tale mash-ups for your reading pleasure. While my short story was unfortunately not included in the initial roll-out of stories, you can still find it up on their website.

My gory little story Laughter in Sarnath takes its inspiration from Shadow over Innsmouth and all those fairy tales about trying to make a princess laugh. (Seriously. There’s a bunch of them.) I’m really happy with the ending of this one. I was aiming for a Tales from the Crypt vibe, and I think it delivers.

And reader beware: this one is really bloody.

That Ain’t Right

Are you ready for some more Lovecraft? I sure hope so, because the Old Ones are back to scare the crap out of you in this new casebook of spooky stories. Each addition (including my own) follows a mysterious, Lovecraftian event, mostly involving people slowly going insane. (You know the drill.) This isn’t my first time trekking through the mountains of madness, and it’s always a fun trip every time I come back. 

My Thailand Trip

Defenestration Magazine

I’ve finally been accepted into a comedy magazine! It’s been a while since I was featured in Cracked.com, and I was starting to give up hope that anyone would think that my writing was funny. Well… here I am, getting all published and stuff by Defenestration Magazine, one of the coolest humor mags around.

My story is about a girl whose relationship completely unravels once she realizes that her boyfriend smells exactly like her deceased grandmother. It’s Shakespearean.

Anyway, I hope you like it. It made me laugh, so hopefully you have a similar sense of humor. If not, well, what can I say? There’s probably a rerun of Big Bang Theory on TV right now. Go and watch that instead.

Children of Water

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the blog…

 
It’s been a slow summer (playing around in Russia and all that), but I finally have something worthwhile to share… my new fantasy\horror anthology Elementals: Children of Water is fresh off the presses.

Each story in this collection is a spooky glimpse at what’s lurking just under the waves at your feet. It’ll make you think twice about your upcoming beach vacation. Or at the very least… it’ll be a great beach read while you laze around in the sun. Either way.

You can get it on Amazon. It’s a little expensive right now, but hopefully the price will drop soon. I hope you enjoy. I’m proud of my addition to the collection. It’s one of the nastier stories I’ve ever written. And that’s saying something!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Thanks to my amazing Russian coworkers, I had a surprise birthday party today!